Single Fathers and University

Very little has been done in the way of studies and how the absence of a child's father affects their development until now. Information has finally become more readily available regarding more aspects of a child's life. What has almost always been socially acceptable was the importance of a mother's involvement, but only recently has a father's involvement been acknowledged as equally important. This acknowledgment is just as important as the actual social relevance, as men are finally being acknowledged as being more than a simple support payment in regards to separated parents. I'm not interested in speaking of sociological advancements (although I have much to be thankful for in this area) but I have a condensed story of hope for all those single fathers out there who hope to make more of their lives in the long term while suffering the hardships of low income in the short term.

Throughout my life as a father, I have had several promising jobs which served to feed and clothe my daughter and myself, but nothing more. I had finally come to a point in my life where I would never amount to anything more than a mere labour working "ditch digger" if you will. That is until I finally resolved to go back to school, if for nothing else than a couple of extra letters at the end of my name. That is however not all, I wanted to give my little girl more than a meal. I wanted her to have hope, hope of herself and her father of both having the ability to be more than they already are. I wanted her to see her daddy in a full ceremonial gown, with his head up high knowing that anything is possible.

And so began another journey of labour. This labour however is of a higher kind, one of hope, potential and love. Now although I began with much optimism, this quickly diminished as Christmases and birthdays came and went and presents were all but within reach on my "salary" (student loans), but thankfully my girl is of the age where presents are simply fun and yet inconsequential. Emotional overtures dominated my every thought as I perceived myself as a failure of the highest degree. The fear that I failed as a man, a father, and as a "good person" came over me and could be seen in my daily affairs. I thought many times of quitting and running back to the familiar, but as the semesters went by I discovered something: I was surviving.

Through this survival I discovered something else, I wasn't just in school for my daughter's sake but for myself as well. I found myself on an entirely different journey than what I sought out for. And so to all you potential learners out there hiding or fearing of change from the familiar I say this, whatever you do don't do it for yourselves or your children; Do it for your family and remember; with just the right proportions of conviction, love, and family anything is possible.